Fire Island Album

Just because I'm in rehab doesn't mean you guys have to stop jacking-off. Michael Lucas' Return to Fire Island is out. Here are a few previews.

Go to the Rod Barry Theater and see my other movies. Click on the link in the upper right corner of the blog under my profile.

Moving On

I want to thank everybody for all the notes of support, encouragement and advice that people have sent me -- as comments on the blog, or as e-mails to rod@rodbarryworld.com or letters to my address c/o Brooklyn Malone, 332 Bleecker Street, #K27, New York, NY 10014. They really helped me and reminded me that there are people out there who appreciated my work in the adult industry.

I'm getting ready to move on to the next stage of my recovery. This Thursday I will be moving on to a six-month rehab program at another VA facility.

The last three weeks have had lots of ups and downs. But I am feeling better and getting my health back. When I came in the program I also quit smoking, which was as hard as stopping the booze. I've put on some weight.

Love to you all,
Rod

The Lost Blog

I posted a blog earlier this week that got 'lost' so I'm putting this up again. It was stuck in 'draft' and I just realized it.

I mentioned in the last blog that I was voted dorm rep of our floor. The job obviously paid nothing and there are no other monetary rewards. But there are some rewards, like helping other people get adjusted to dorm life. And it keeps me busy.

Unfortunately, I've run into a bit of trouble. In the current group of guys there are only 4 Caucasian, out of the 22 men in the dorm. Who cares, right? we are all here to get sober. When I first got here, we had an AA meeting about honesty. I sat-up to speak and proclaimed that I was uncomfortable that 'n-word' was being thrown around here like it was on the streets. The dorm rep at the time got up and walked out. Ever since then he made me the target of reverse racism. Ordering me around and other shit that I took with a grain of salt until I heard him talking in the bathroom about 'white motherfucker this' and 'white motherfucker that.' He was shocked when I confronted him. Others said he was surprised that the skinny white boy didn't take his shit. My father taught me to stand up for myself.

I'm not nor will I ever be a racist. I have had many interracial relationships. There's something about a darker skin that I find very attractive. I've always been that way.

This guy -- black, white, purple or green -- is in the top ten all-time lying assholes that I ever met in my life. He's always saying shit about his cars, money, his degrees, but he's been in this rehab program at least six times. And who knows about other rehab programs. But there's plenty of evidence, from his own mouth, that he's flat broke.

Most of the guys here don't think of me as a white dude, they accept me as a person. Hopefully, with this new beginning in our nation, we can all move forward.

Love, Rod

Something Great is Coming!

First of all, this will be a great week in the history of our country -- Martin Luther King Day and Barack Obama's inauguration. Are you kidding me? I feel something great coming!!

Over the weekend, I was voted dorm rep. Basically that means I have to babysit 22 grown drug-addicted and alcoholic men. I wonder how they made it through boot camp. But then I have to remember. No. 1 Not everyone is a Marine. No. 2 Some of them are stressed out from combat. No. 3 Drugs and alcohol are very strong. No. 4 I am and will not ever be perfect.

I have been sober for 14 days now. And I will be going on after January 29th to a long-term treatment program (details to follow). Where I am now is more like a long-term detox. I'm getting something out of this place, but I feel that the time is too short to trust these people with my real emotions. It's hard -- it's very hard -- to hold in the true feelings I have going on. I have a couple of pals going also so I'll have a fishing buddy or two when i get to my next treatment program.

Oh one more thing in case you are wondering. I am doing a great deal of jerking off. I have to be careful not to get caught by my roommate. He's a very crusty construction worker from the Bronx, who just finished working on Yankee Stadium.

Goodbye from rehab. Love, Rod

Dear Boozie

Today we had to write a 'dear jane' letter to alcohol. Here's what I wrote:

Dear Boozie,
Have we been down a long road or what? Remember the great times and train wrecks. There are many pictures of those times. You, me and all our friends -- Mary Jane, Johnnie Snow and Jack Daniels. Shit, we've known each other for twenty-years!! Every relationship is not perfect, we know that. There was the time we got arrested by the cops. I placed all the blame on you, which was unfair. I was angry about that for a long time. But we made up and moved on. We often had disagreements and you made me sick to my stomach. My whole body and soul hurt when we didn't get a along. Remember how I spent gours in the bathroom, due to hanging together so much.

It was the train wrecks in our relationship that made me think a great deal. The problem was that I ouldn't think clearly enough to deal with any disaster. When I had a wreck I just called you and everyting was A-okay! You were just the best -- you, Mary Jane and the others. But the next day the wreck was still there -- not cleaned-up. I think one of the biggest train wrecks in my history was the time my truck got towed when I lived in San Francisco. Remember I had $1500 in the bank and all the resources I needed to get it out of the tow yard. But I took your advice and just let it go to the auction so I could have a fun night at the bar. Thanks again. I never wanted to get into a relationship because you were the only one that mattered. Don't you feel special?

Today's the day I finally looked into the mirror and said, "Who's that?" Sure, we had a lot fun, Boozie. But I feel like our relationship has made me loose my identity and soul. You'll be around forever, but I don't feel like I that shelf-life. There's only way to do this -- a swift, sudden goodbye! Nothing personal, but sometimes you can be overwhelming and I am powerless against you. So that's it! I wish you the worst of luck in future endeavors and please do not, under any circumstances try to contact.

Adios, so long and good riddance.

ROD

Seven Days of Sobriety

Seven days of sobriety!!!

I've had some rough moments, but I'm feeling good. The roughest were the first three days that I spent in the drunk tank. They gave me librium to calm me down and help me with withdrawal. Some crazy guy there kept me awake all night yelling and swearing.

Then on Thursday I moved to the in-patient ward. Here I have my own room. It's the first time in many years that I've three square meal a day for a whole week!! And I've put on some weight. I had gotten real skinny.

They also put me on the patch when I came in so I haven't smoked either for the last seven days. I thought that would be pretty hard. But it's not too bad.

Part of rehab process is to take away all the distractions so you can focus on getting sober. I can call out but no one can call in. I don't have my cell phone or my laptop, so my friend Paul is taking dictation and writing this up. We are going to try to set up an audio blog.

Thanks to all of you for sending me your encouragement and advice. Paul has been passing them on to me. You can e-mail me at rod@rodbarryworld.com or send me old fashioned mail to Rod Barry, Brooklyn Malone Media, 332 Bleecker Street, #K27, New York, NY 10014.

xxoo
Rod

My Battle

After twenty-years battling alcoholism, I'm checking into the VA's alcohol rehabilitation program today. I'm not quite sure why it took me this long, but I realized that i'm been hurting not only myself, but the friends and family that I love. Now I'll get a chance to make amends and get healthy.

The rehab program is a 24 day in-patient program. It begins with a 3 day detox program.

But it's going to be a long 3 days.

Don't worry, I'm not planning to retire from the adult industry. I plan to focus more on my program.

If you'd like to contact me with advice and words of encouragement, e-mail me at rod@rodbarryworld.com

Love you all,
Rod

Making the move to New York!

So come a crossroads in your life. Some people deal with it on a different level. I pretty much think I am done with LA for sure. The time I spent with my dad and pals over the holidays made up my mind. I need at this time in my life to be around peeps that truly care about me. I have my son on the east coast, along with mom, dad, and some great people. Work is an issue as well so if anyone has a east coast lead let me know. I will not be gone from the industry, not done yet.

So today was very cold in New York. We took my buddy Paul's porn collection to donate. They were almost all VHS. I can't even think of how much money he spent at 49.95 a pop back in the day. Now you can buy Falcon on TLA at 19.95. "HOLY SHIT!"

What is going on at AVN, anyone? anyone? anyone?

So that is about it for now.........Checking into rehab on Monday...Wish me luck.

Love,
Rod