Dear Boozie

Today we had to write a 'dear jane' letter to alcohol. Here's what I wrote:

Dear Boozie,
Have we been down a long road or what? Remember the great times and train wrecks. There are many pictures of those times. You, me and all our friends -- Mary Jane, Johnnie Snow and Jack Daniels. Shit, we've known each other for twenty-years!! Every relationship is not perfect, we know that. There was the time we got arrested by the cops. I placed all the blame on you, which was unfair. I was angry about that for a long time. But we made up and moved on. We often had disagreements and you made me sick to my stomach. My whole body and soul hurt when we didn't get a along. Remember how I spent gours in the bathroom, due to hanging together so much.

It was the train wrecks in our relationship that made me think a great deal. The problem was that I ouldn't think clearly enough to deal with any disaster. When I had a wreck I just called you and everyting was A-okay! You were just the best -- you, Mary Jane and the others. But the next day the wreck was still there -- not cleaned-up. I think one of the biggest train wrecks in my history was the time my truck got towed when I lived in San Francisco. Remember I had $1500 in the bank and all the resources I needed to get it out of the tow yard. But I took your advice and just let it go to the auction so I could have a fun night at the bar. Thanks again. I never wanted to get into a relationship because you were the only one that mattered. Don't you feel special?

Today's the day I finally looked into the mirror and said, "Who's that?" Sure, we had a lot fun, Boozie. But I feel like our relationship has made me loose my identity and soul. You'll be around forever, but I don't feel like I that shelf-life. There's only way to do this -- a swift, sudden goodbye! Nothing personal, but sometimes you can be overwhelming and I am powerless against you. So that's it! I wish you the worst of luck in future endeavors and please do not, under any circumstances try to contact.

Adios, so long and good riddance.

ROD